Grendel

im not a monster really! i have a peaceful, empathetic soul and treat others with kindness every single day. but it seems like there is an army of folks who have some kind of damage and they are bitter, angry or withdrawn. lady at safeway, ive never seen you before so why do you judge me? there was room for me to stand by the counter waiting for my espresso and an additional six feet at least of aisle space to go by. “excuse me” she asks waiting for me to move. but i have nowhere to move to so i flatten myself against the wall and as she passed she says “excuse me i am nervous”. wtf? why are you so nervous? i swear i dress normally and believe that for intents and purposes i act normally as well! …and last friday at green lake i accidentally stepped in front of a bicyclist going for the water fountain. i smiled and said “excuse me” and the woman on the bike gave me one of those ‘oh god please dont talk to me’ glares, so i got in line behind her and waited as she parked her bike in front of the water fountain for an excessive amount of time. ok. look: I am NOT out here looking for tail alright? I just want to jog and get a fucking drink of water. there is no profit in me and i am looking for none from you.

so today was such a gorgeous day i went out for a long run but right away all my smiles and “good mornings” were met with the RBF (resting bitch face). at discovery park i was jogging up a road going no more than a 9:30 pace and a woman who was about fifty yards away was already making jerky  movements to avoid me switching to one side and then the other-of a two lane road! this time i had to stop and explain that all i really need is about 12 inches of width to get by. at least then i got a smile and a laugh. but what does she see when she sees me coming? do i fit the description of some bad character in game of thrones or other such stuff i dont watch? is there a bad guy jogger out there who looks like me? is it me at all? ok so be it, but you wont stop me from loving being in the world.