zendo

running this evening i tried to draw a picture with the gps watch on the soccer field. it’s supposed to be a face. it didnt turn out very good & i will try again soon. there is something really nice about running and i feel very strong except for my damned flexors and i am paranoid of getting another tibial stress reaction. if i go there again ill be in the depths of the pain or how much pain is tolerable argument…and the comeback takes so damned long but wtf? i want to race. i love going as fast as i can. i think if you can run you should go as fast as you can sometimes. just gotta save it. hold it in for race day i guess. i hope it works out that way. this evening i held back because someone passed me for the first time in a while so i followed holding back and then just went back to 8’s in a higher step. it’s been too long since i had a fast race and that last one was fucked. anyway it’s all not much and these are scribblings about not much but i really gotta say that it is worth all the effort. the other day i finally got enough time to do a long run and realizing that it takes me 10 miles to warm up. ten fucking miles and i am in a pure state of constant effort. there is a point where there is no pain, no worry, no future or past only effort and not even too much of that. it’s pure beginnermind stuff. now if i could hold in that state longer…

face

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